i fucked up my life and impregnated my future.

December 13, 2013

in blowg

Things my boss has said today: “China is gonna take over. Soon you’ll have to wear red and tape your eyes just to get a job at McDonald’s.” Followed by the world’s worst fake laugh and, “I’m only joking.”

I don’t know what’s more strange: that I insist on poisoning myself nearly every weekend until the synapses in my memory glands literally shut off (or something along those lines) or that I compliment this slow suicide with a powerful, anti-cancerous medicine that is not prescribed to me (yet) and would land me in serious shit with the tyrants that like to call themselves “leaders.”

A bus drove by with an LED screen that, instead of reading its destination, read “9/11 NEVER FORGET.” And as it passed, the smaller LED in the back read: “HERO.” Thank you, bus.

When most people gleefully cheer themselves on for their “live fast and die young” lifestyle, they’re thinking of dying like the rockstars they immortalize. Me, I’m just feeding myself yet another dinner of yogurt and beer and crackers. I will probably burn out and join the 27 Club, but my face won’t be stuffed into the asscrack of a hooker as I overdose on crack cocaine. I’m just going to die of intestinal failure like everyone else.

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