current event hipsters

August 27, 2013

in blowg

It seems to me like there are two types of people in my generation. People that are mildly interested or amused by mainstream pop culture, i.e. people who actually watched the VMAs instead of getting bombarded with stupid memes about it the next morning. No one, ever, becomes heavily invested in these things. In other words, no one who sat down to watch MTV this weekend is actually a fan of anything they watched, even if they think they are. Proof? In a week, something else stupid will happen and then they’ll forget all about it. It’s that “ooh, shiney!” mentality bred from public schools and Nickelodeon.

Then there are people who pay rigid attention to world events, but all they do is complain about how no one else is paying attention to world events. It’s like, current event hipsters or something.┬áThat’s totally what I am. A current events hipster. And a typical conversation will go like this:

Me: “You wanna talk about Syria? Well, sure, that’s what’s big right now, but are you watching what’s going on in Egypt?”

Ryan: “Psh. Egypt was so yesterday. Try paying attention to the Brazilian riots. That’s what’s up.”

Me: “Like I give a fuck about bus fare in South America. I mean, sure they say it’s more than that, but we all know they’re a bunch of posers. Just like wait for Fukushima to go bye-bye and then we’re all fucked.”

Ryan: “You think we’re fucked now? Just wait. I’ve got two words for you: North. Korea.”

Me: “Oh c’mon…”

Ryan: “Oh, and Iran. Probably. So that’s four words.”

Me: “North Korea couldn’t hit the broad side of a barn. They were so much tougher in the 1950’s. Now they’re just a novelty act trying to relive their glory days.”

Trevvor: “Hey, uh, guys… Did you hear about the NSA spying on people?”

Ryan and Me (in unison): “SHUT THE FUCK UP!”

fin.

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